Disney World: The Happiest Place on Earth
by Just a Janus
Summary: ...Unless you're Oz.  Australia/New Zealand.  AU.
1. First Day: Things Suck Already

**PLEASE READ: **

_Major Australia abuse is to come. (comedic) _

_List of name/character relation:_

_Jack= Australia, Piper= Wy, Rob= New Zealand_

* * *

><p>"Yes, Arthur. Yeah. Peter brought extra underwear. He's never had asthma, but we have an inhaler anyway. Yes, Art. Uh huh. Yeah." Jack spoke to Arthur on the phone exasperatedly as they entered one of the several parks in the large expanse that is Disney World. Epcot, he thought Piper had called it.<p>

He was on a five day trip in Orlando, Florida from their home in Sydney with his little sister Piper and her cousin, Peter. Arthur was Jack's uncle that lived in England. Peter was that stuffy Englishman's son.  
>"Okay, Arthur. BYE." He hung up on his uncle and looked back at the two kids to make sure they weren't kidnapped yet.<p>

"Hey, guys. Where all do you want to go?" The brunette looked directly at his little sister, the one holding the map.  
>"The World Showcase! Oh, I bet I'll see all <em>kinds<em> of art there! I'll be able to observe all kinds of different cultures and-" She continued rambling as she skipped past her older brother, her curly brown pigtail bouncing behind her. Peter, a slightly younger kid, (around eleven) followed closely behind.  
>"Hey! Wait up, Piper!" He called, nearly tripping and falling on his face to catch up with her.<p>

Jack sighed and followed the children. It had been a long plane ride to Orlando, and the kids wanted to go to the park the second they'd checked into the hotel. He couldn't help but oblige to their adorable faces.

Pete and Piper _ooh_'d and _ahh_'d at the giant metallic ball at the entrance. It was pretty huge. Piper had her camera out and was flashing pictures already.  
>"Ohhh, Jacky! That's so cool! We're going there as soon as we get inside!" She squealed.<br>"Yeah, yeah. That's nice." He called from behind her. She was already several yards ahead and entering at the turnstile, showing an overly enthusiastic blonde man her card.  
>"Sweeeeet. Have a nice day, kiddos!" He grinned at her and then at Peter as they hurried toward the rides and whatnot. Jack showed the American ( as assumed by his accent ) his card.<p>

The blonde paused and looked from the card to Jack, and back again. Jack watched his kids skip away and wondered why this damn man was taking so long.  
>"Dude." The American began to grin.<br>"What?" Jack knitted his eyebrows at the other.  
>"You've been wearing that band aid on your nose for more than two years now!" He laughed loudly and obnoxiously. "I mean, this picture was taken two years ago, and you've got it in the same exact spot!" Another nasally cackle.<br>"What about it?" The Aussie snapped. This guy could not possibly be more annoying.  
>"Oh, nothing. We're not supposed to insult the park goers." He snickered to himself and scanned the card, allowing Jack to be on his way.<p>

Jack was grumbling something to himself about stupid Americans when he caught up to the kids.  
>"Huh?" Piper looked up at him from the plaque she was reading.<br>"Nothing. Let's go do something cool." He said. The kids nodded, big smiles on their faces.

They had a blast on Spaceship Earth and Mission: SPACE. More so on the second. Even if Jack felt the urge to regurgitate his breakfast after being spun so much. Peter also decided he wanted to ride the Test Track ride. A ride in which you are supposed to be a test track dummy. They also entered the butterfly gardens. It was fun even though Piper kept complaining the flowers were placed in a way painful to the artistic eye.

* * *

><p>The kids were giggling as the three entered the World Showcase. This part of the park is made to be like different parts of the world squished together into an extremely multicultural section of Disney World. They entered in a place that reminded Jack of Spain. It may have been the diner with the windows pained with the Spanish flag that made it seem so.<p>

After walking through several different "countries," and raiding many gift shops, the sky getting dark, they eventually decided to rest on a bench somewhere outside of England. Too bad Peter noticed a Mickey Mouse hat stand and Piper decided she _needed_ one to paint.

The two looked eagerly up at the young man running the stand.  
>"I want that one!" Peter pointed to a hat that looked like it was painted camouflage. "It's so awesome."<br>"I totally agree, little dude." He said enthusiastically, turning to grab the hat. Jack tilted his head at the sound of the guy's voice.  
>"And I want just a plain one. I'm going to paint it into an artistic masterpiece." Piper said it like it was serious business. The blonde at the stand laughed and nodded.<br>"Good deal."

Jack turned to smile at the guy, pulling out his wallet.  
>"So you're a New Zealander, huh?" He grinned at the other. The boy had curly blonde hair and light green eyes.<br>"Sure am!" He smiled brightly. "And I'm guessing you're an Aussie." Jack nodded.  
>"Here vacationing with my little sister and cousin. He's from England, though." He ruffled Peter's hair, receiving an unhappy groan in return. "You can actually see our hotel from here. He pointed to the top of a building far in the distance.<br>"Oh? That's nice. I know the people that work there." The shorter man leaned forward. "Those hats add up to thirty-five bucks even, by the way."

Jack flinched a little.  
>"Whaaat? For two hats? Jesus, that's damn pricey." He frowned and pulled out Arthur's credit card.<br>"Hey, you're in Disney World. You have any idea how much it costs to keep this place running?" The New Zealander rolled his eyes and shifted his weight to his left hip, reaching out for the card. Jack reluctantly let him scan it.

"Can't believe I paid that much for those stupid hats." The Aussie slipped the card back into his wallet.  
>"Ah, don't be so stingy. I'm Rob, by the way." He held out his hand. Jack shook it, an eyebrow raised.<br>"Hey. I'm not being stingy. That's just a lot for two hats. _You_ wouldn't buy it would you?" Rob scoffed.

"Of course _I _wouldn't buy it. I'm a foreign college student making seven dollars an hour in the blistering Florida sun. You know what I ate last night? Half a can of Spaghetti-O's. Because you know what I'm eating tonight? The other half! You honestly think I would have enough money to purchase anything at all from this place?"

Rob looked at Jack, his eyebrows knitted together in a stern look. Jack held his hands up in surrender.

They both heard Piper groan.  
>"Okay, okay. You're poor and all, but does your cart have to be colored <em>this<em> pitifully?" She motioned with her hands at the bright yellow and red the cart was painted. Rob blinked, his frustration replaced with confusion.  
>"What?" He peeked his head out to see what she was talking about.<br>"She always does that." Jack rolled his eyes. "She wants to be everything artistic when she grows up." Piper looked up at her brother with a glare.  
>"I <em>will<em> be everything artistic when I grow up! And right now, the artistically inclined woman that I am knows that this cart is horribly decorated." She turned her steely look to Rob.  
>"Hey, chick. It's Disney World property, not mine." He stepped back a little. Piper huffed and looked at Peter.<br>"Do _you_ agree with me that this cart is disgusting?" Peter nodded.  
>"If you say so, Pipes!"<br>"See. I have an opinion to back me up. These colors are putrid." She nodded as if she were agreeing with herself.

There was a silence.

Jack turned to look at Rob the same second Rob had turned to look at him. They shared a gaze for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"She- she said _putrid_!" Rob gasped out. "I haven't heard that word from anyone but my Grandmother!"  
>"I know, right?" Jack leaned on the stand and shook his head. "Try living with her!" They both laughed some more. Piper's eyes narrowed dangerously as she looked from one to the other. The girl felt a tug at her shirt and turned to the source with a snap.<br>"What?" She growled. Peter yelped.  
>"I- I still think you're awesome, Piper!" He smiled nervously. She grunted.<p>

After a few minutes of chuckling and further conversation, Piper suggested it was time to go back home.  
>"Hey, I know you two are bonding and all, but my stomach hurts and I'm tired. I want to go back to the hotel." She said it in a rather whiny tone. Jack nodded.<br>"Okay, Pipes. You ready to go, Peter?" He looked down at the boy who had decided to sit on the ground.  
>"Yeah, I guess. If she's not feeling good..." He picked himself back up. Jack looked at Rob.<br>"It was nice talking to you, ya Kiwi." Jack smiled at the blonde.  
>"Come back, ya Aussie." Rob grinned and waved his hand.<p>

Just as Jack pulled away from the stand and started for the exit, Piper decided to turn around and give Rob one last word.

"I think you two should go out or something. I mean Jack is TOTALLY GAY." She said the last two words louder than necessary, getting the attention of several passersby, then continued walking (Peter at her side) as if she had said nothing. Jack stood there for a moment in shock, but finally followed her. He gave his acquaintance a sheepish look, wishing he could go back and explain himself. He couldn't see the look on the others face from this distance.

She was _so_ showering last.

* * *

><p>They had made it back to the hotel safely. Jack was extremely embarrassed, so he went ahead and showered and went to bed. (All without one word to Piper. Not that she gave a crap.)<p>

Piper had an idea in mind. She wanted to do that poor New Zealander a favor, and it involved paint. She peeked her head in her brother's room to make sure he was asleep. He was passed out in the most atrocious position she could think of. How he slept like that, she had no clue.  
>"Peter. Do you have the paint?" Piper whispered.<br>"Yeah, Pipes. I have everything in here." He pointed to his backpack. She nodded.  
>"Excellent."<p>

And so the two left the hotel room soundlessly and headed for the elevator. They would be sneaking into Epcot and repainting that artistically challenged Kiwi's stand. Piper's lip curled into a smile as the elevator doors closed.

"This is going to be fun."

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><p><strong>AN: **This is chapter one of this fanfic. It should go one for another four chapters, but I'm not completely sure yet.

I was appalled by the lackage of AU/NZ fanfics, so this was born.

Expect this to be updated in the near future.

Please review. It fuels my fingers~ (B


	2. Piper Should Be a Spy

Piper and Peter got into the park with ease. At least compared to what she thought they'd go through. She didn't know that it was the fault of a certain South Italian.

The two delinquents found Rob's cart, their faces hidden behind their hoodies. The awning was down, and the stand was locked up with metal blinds. For a second Piper thought _'For people like us.'_, but shook it away when Peter began pulling out the supplies. She pushed off her hood and grabbed her paintbrush and paint.

"You take the left, I'll take the right." Peter nodded and grabbed a can of spray paint.

They worked on it for around half an hour. Piper thought her painting was coming out very well; she was almost proud of it. Peter continued spray painting, but stopped abruptly when he heard an odd noise. He couldn't quite figure out what it was. It sounded almost like a remote-controlled truck.

Piper looked at her cousin when the spraying sound ceased.  
>"Are you done?" She asked, her eyebrows knitted. He couldn't possibly be done yet. Not with something suitable painted.<br>"No... I think I hear something." Peter hushed his voice. Piper listened closely. It sounded like... wheels? Her eyes widened.  
>"Quick! Pack!" She lidded her paint and slung it in his bag along with the paintbrush.<br>"C'mon! Hurry." She tugged his backpack on her back and darted across the pathway and behind a bush. Peter hurried after her.

The noise was getting much closer. Piper could almost make out a voice now.  
>"Ve...! Ludwig, this is scary! Why do we have night shift?" A male voice whined.<br>"Feliciano, would you stop being such a coward?" A much deeper voice. Sounded German. They sounded as if they were right on the two kids.  
>"But- What if there are murderers, Luddy? Or worse- PIGEONS!"<p>

The sources of the voices walked right past the bush that Piper and Peter were hiding in. Pete gasped; Piper clapped her hand over his mouth.  
>"Nonsense, you fool." The burly German said. He was wearing a guard uniform and was walking in pace with a more scrawny guard (He sounded Italian now that Pipes thought about it) that was on a Segway. The lanky guy looked silly on that two-wheeled contraption.<p>

"You remember what happened last time I came across pigeons!" Feliciano said.  
>"You shouldn't have had pasta in your-" Ludwig paused. "What the Hell?"<br>"What is it Ludwig? Is it murderers?" Feli turned around in a sharp circle on his Segway.  
>"No. Just shut up, Feliciano." The German made his way over to Rob's cart. "It's been vandalized..." He frowned at the cuddly looking koalas painted on one side.<br>"Ve...? Who would spray paint PET? That's kind of silly."

On one side of the stand, there were different Australian animals painted intricately. The colors were beautiful and precise. On the other side the three letters "PET" were written on in graffiti. Piper shot her cousin a sharp glare. She felt him smile behind her hand.

Ludwig wiped his finger across a koala's face, smearing it. Piper almost screamed.  
>"The paint's wet; they couldn't have gotten far. Damn that Lovino. Couldn't he stay awake just long enough to notice the people sneak in? It even looks like <em>kids<em> did this." He shook his head and hurried down the pathway, away from the entrance to give Feliciano's brother a word.  
>"VE! Ludwig, Waaait!" Feliciano rolled frantically after the German.<p>

As soon as the two were out of sight, Piper released Peter's mouth. She groaned. A trail of saliva swung sloppily from her palm. She wiped her hand on the back of Peter's hoodie.  
>"Sorry Piper." He grinned. She rolled her eyes and pulled his hood over his head, then threw on her own.<br>"Let's go. Run."

They darted for the exit and narrowly escaped being caught by Ludwig. He had nearly circled the park, but not quite in time to catch the two.

* * *

><p>"This is <em>unacceptable." <em>Mr. Edelstein snapped at the people in the room. He was the 'head of Epcot' if you would. Even though the Austrian was chewing out the guards, Rob flinched along with them.  
>"You allowed <em>children<em> to sneak into my park and vandalize property?" He looked at the three guards menacingly. Ludwig stood firm.  
>"Sir, I can assure you that neither Feliciano nor I are to blame." The German's deep voice never wavered.<br>"Then who do you blame? Lovino?" Everyone in the room turned to look at the Italian in the corner. He was silently chewing a tomato.

"What?" He snapped. "Wasn't my damn fault!"  
>"Lovi, you were asleep on duty..." Feli said nervously.<br>"SHUT UP, FELICIANO!"  
>"VE! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He flailed and hid behind Roderick.<br>"Get away from me, you fool!"  
>"You weren't supposed to tell him that, you bastard!" Lovi yelled.<br>"I'm sorry, Lovino!"  
>"Don't apologize to him, Feliciano." Ludwig ordered.<br>"SHUT UP, POTATO BASTARD!"

The New Zealander frowned and watched as everyone in the room began yelling at one another. He still had no clue as to why he was here. Something to do with his stand, apparently. He was called to work hours early to discuss this.

"Um, Sir-" Rob started.  
>"If you'd learn to share the blankets, maybe I WOULD love you, Feli!"<br>"D-don't say things like that, Loviiii!"

"Could I just-" The blonde tried again.  
>"Would you shut your mouths before I fire you both?"<br>"You wouldn't do that, Roderick! Elizabeta would have your head on a stick and you know it, you dick."

"Please, just-" Another failed attempt.  
>"Stop being so mean, Lovino!"<br>"I thought I told you to shut your mouth, Feli!"  
>"Why don't you both shut your idiotic mouths?"<br>"No way, cock sucker-"

"WOULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY STAND?" Robert yelled above everyone.

They all went quiet and turned to look at him. He flushed a little.  
>"Ah, yes. Mr. Fischer. We're very sorry about that." The Austrian calmed himself and straightened the stack of papers in front of him.<br>"I'm not!" Lovino said. Ludwig elbowed him.  
>"Th-thanks." Rob cleared his throat. "I would like to know why I was asked to come so early." Mr. Edelstein nodded.<p>

"Last night two vandals broke into the park and decided to paint your cart. We've been forced to double security in case they try something again. Do you have any clue who would do this?" Roderick's purple eyes bore into Rob's green ones.  
>"No, sir. I don't think I do." He frowned, thinking. He didn't do anything to make anyone mad lately, did he?<br>"Ah. I see. Please tell me if you can think of anyone that may be responsible." Edelstein said. Robert nodded.  
>"Of course."<p>

"Oh, and another thing." Roderick clasped his hands together in front of him.  
>"Yes, sir?" Rob asked cautiously. He didn't like that motion.<br>"Until the vandals are found, you will be responsible for paying the one-hundred and fifty dollars that will be needed to replace that stand."

Rob's mouth hung open.  
>"Y-yes, sir."<br>"Wonderful." Roderick stood up and walked to the door of his office. He paused before turning the doorknob. "I'll expect the money before you move, Mr. Fischer." Roderick said. Robert nodded, still speechless.

The Austrian left, and the three guards filed out behind him. Feliciano mentioned something about pasta and started off another uproar of conversation.

Robert sank into the couch, not ready to leave his boss's office. How was he supposed to afford that? He was already broke from paying for plane tickets back home to New Zealand, and his mother would freak if he asked for more money. She was already paying for his college in America, but since _that_ failed miserably, he had to find school somewhere closer to home. He sighed loudly.

"Oh? Robert!" A heavily accented voice called from the doorway. Rob looked up at the woman and smiled.  
>"Eliza!" The bubbly woman took a seat beside him.<br>"It is wonderful seeing you here! It's unfortunate why you are here, though." She frowned sympathetically. He nodded.  
>"Yeah, I'm pretty stressed." Robert knitted his eyebrows. "I seriously have no way of paying by the deadline he wants. Unless I find out who did it, that is, but what's the chance of that happening?" Elizabeta frowned sadly.<br>"I'm sure I can get my Roddy to extend the deadline." She didn't even bother saying forget the debt. Every employee at the park knows how money-happy that man is.  
>"No, no. It's okay, Lizzy." He sighed, but allowed a small smile on his face.<p>

"So... I met a guy." He grinned brightly when Eliza squealed with joy. She tackled him in a hug.  
>"Who is he? Is he cute? Where's he from?" She asked him questions rapidfire.<br>"He's Jack; he's freakin' hot, and he's from Australia."

Another chorus of squeals and giggles. More questions.

"Will you see him again?" Her bright eyes saddened when his face fell.  
>"I told him to come see me again, but I kinda doubt he will. He was really embarrassed by his sister..."<br>"Oh, I'm sure he'll find you again. If you're meant to be, he will. I promise." Elizabeta smiled brightly once more. He smiled with her.  
>"I guess you're right, Lizzy. But I have to go. I really want to check out the damage on my stand." Eliza grabbed his hand before he got up.<br>"I have pictures on my phone! No need in leaving just yet."

She flipped through her phone until she found the ones she had taken on her way to bringing her Roddy his breakfast. When she saw the cart, she (the gossip that she is) _needed_ pictures.  
>"Have a look." Eliza handed her his phone.<p>

He nearly dropped the pink device when he saw the fashion in which his cart was "vandalized". The PET was one clue. But the koalas were what gave it away.

"Eliza. I have to go."

* * *

><p>Jack was brushing his teeth when the maid service rapped on the door. Piper was really cranky for some reason. Apparently her stomach hurt and she was sleepy. Peter was in the living room blasting Spongebob as loud as possible, attempting to sing along to the Campfire Song song. Jack frowned. He knew neither kid would get the door, so he walked out of the bathroom to open it, toothbrush in hand.<p>

"Yeah, you guys can just take out the trash for now, and- Peter, would you turn down that _damn_ TV?"  
>"<em>YOU."<em>

Jack turned to the person at the door, an eyebrow raised. Then his fingers loosened their grip on the toothbrush. It hit the ground with a dull squishy thud.  
>"Rob?" His mouth fell open.<br>"We need to talk, _Jack._" Robert pushed himself inside the Aussie's room, proud of the fact he didn't snicker when Jack dropped his toothbrush.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Chapter two up in one day! I'm proud of myself. I hope you guys enjoyed. Reviews warm my soul!


	3. How to Piss off a Kiwi

Rob sat himself down on the couch beside Peter. Piper looked at him nervously from the armchair adjacent to to her cousin. Robert shot her a 'you're busted' look, and looked up at Jack who stood in front of all three.

"How did you find me?" Jack looked at the New Zealander as if he had crawled out of the the lagoon.  
>"I told you I knew people here. The guy at the front desk is my cousin."<br>"I never saw anyone at the front desk." Peter said.  
>"Yeah, him. That's Matt." Rob nodded. Pete blinked, confused.<br>"Okay, great." Piper said. "But why are you here...?" She eyed him cautiously.  
>"You know exactly why I'm here, Ms. Artistically Inclined." He shot her a glare. "And I bet Jack doesn't."<p>

They all looked at the confused brunette.

"I don't." Jack said as a matter of fact. He looked from the guilty looking kids to the adorably irritated New Zealander. "So...?"  
>"Your kids broke into the park last night and repainted my stand." Rob said quickly.<br>"HE LIES!" Piper stood, scaring the crap out of Peter and causing him to flail all over Rob.

"No I don't." Robert retorted, shoving Peter against the arm of the couch.  
>"You guys broke into the park?" Jack looked like he would faint.<br>"No, I just said we didn't!" Piper scoffed.  
>"Don't deny it." Rob smirked. "You did, didn't you, Pete?" The three of them looked at eleven year-old.<p>

"Huh? W-well." Peter looked away.  
>"Did you?" Jack knelt down to look at the boy in question. Pete looked at Piper, his eyes wide.<p>

An extremely painful silence.

"UHG." Piper groaned. "Fine, we did. It was my idea. And one half of your stupid stand is freakin' gorgeous." She fell back on the chair, her arms crossed. It took a few seconds for that to seep into Jack's mind. Then it clicked. _This is bad. _

"What- how- why would you guys _do_ that?" Jack threw his arms in the air.  
>"How could you let these kids sneak out like that?" Rob pointed at Jack.<br>"Piper's sneaky and evil! You should have figured out that much yesterday!" The Aussie replied.  
>"I'm not evil! You just have high expectations for the amount of kindness I should provide." Piper said in her defense. Jack turned to glare at her. She had done some pretty bad stuff in her 12 years, but this was much worse than he had anticipated.<p>

"You two. Out on the balcony."  
>"But-" She started.<br>"_Now._"

Piper looked her brother in the eyes for a few moments, then huffed in defeat and grabbed Peter's arm.  
>"Come on, Pete." She tugged the boy outside. He was whining something along the lines of <em>'I don't want to go back to England yet' <em>as Piper slid the glass door shut violently.

Jack turned his head to Rob.  
>"Dear <em>God.<em>" He slumped onto the couch next to the other. "What are you gonna do?"  
>"I'm not going to turn you in." Rob told him, sitting back.<br>"You're not?" Jack looked at him. "Why?"

_Because you're effin' hot and that would ruin any chance I have at you. _

"Because I don't want to cause any trouble. I'm supposed to be home soon; I don't need to go to court for this."  
>The Australian sat up with renewed confidence.<br>"Then why did you come here?"  
>"Because you're still paying for the damage." Rob held his hands in his lap.<br>"Huh?"

"Boss said that if I couldn't find the vandals, I'd have to pay for a new stand. I found your kids. You give me the money. I pay. He never knows." Rob stared the other in the eyes.  
>"I dunno... " Jack looked at him carefully. "How much is it?"<br>Robert rolled his eyes.

"It's one-fifty."  
>"No way." Jack shook his head.<br>"What? Why?"  
>"I'm paying for everything with my uncle's money." Jack stated. "If I spend too much, he'll throw a fit and make me pay for everything. Then I'll have to take it out of my car funds, and I'll never get that beaut of a convertible from Bill. I already named her Jesse!"<p>

Robert looked at Jack like he was stupid. (Which he probably was, now that Rob thought about it)

"You would honestly rather go to court than pay a hundred and fifty bucks?"  
>"You already said you wouldn't turn me in."<br>"I said if you paid for it!" Rob felt a scowl creep across his face.  
>"No, I have a feeling you still wouldn't." Jack propped his face on his palm.<br>"Well I would." The New Zealander huffed.  
>"Nah, you're bluffing."<p>

_Damn. He's right._

Jack sat back again. Robert glared at him. How could he do that?  
>"Dude, you're responsible for them! You should feel obliged to pay!" He poked the Aussie in the stomach. Abs. Rob yanked his hand away.<p>

"Look, I do feel bad. Honestly. But if I don't have to pay, I'm not gonna."  
>"Jesus Christ, you <em>are<em> stingy." Rob scoffed and stood. "I'm gone." He started for the door. Jack nodded.  
>"Sorry, dude." He called after. The blonde twisted around to glower at him, then left, slamming the door behind him.<p>

Well that could have gone better.

* * *

><p>Jack stood just inside the entrance of The Magic Kingdom. He waited for the kids to catch up. The poor man tried. He honestly <em>tried <em>to think of a punishment for the two. It made it very hard to do so when Piper started crying. Piper _never_ cries. Plus it was impossible to think of anything that would not result in Arthur finding out. If Arthur found out, Jack would definitely be chewed out and then some. It would be for the best that the Englishman be kept in the dark. For his own sanity and Jack's wallet.

The tall man felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Speak- erm. Think of the devil.

"Ello?" Jack held the phone to his ear, and nodded at the kids as they walked up.  
>"Jackson. How are you doing?"<br>"I'm doing good, I-"  
>"That's lovely." Arthur murmured. Obviously, he could care less how his nephew was doing. "How's Peter? Where is he?"<br>"Pete's right here." Jack poked the boy in the head and held the phone next to his mouth. "Say hi, Pete."  
>"Hi, Dad." The boy said unenthusiastically into the receiver. Jack pulled it back to his face.<br>"See. He's alive."  
>"Good, good. Does he have-"<br>"Yes, he has on sunscreen. And no, he hasn't come across anything he's allergic to. And we already ate breakfast, so you don't have to worry about him having his 'eating schedule' disturbed."

A pause.

"Are you being smart with me?"  
>"No, Arthur."<br>"Your mother would have you by the ear if you were!"  
>"I know, Arthur."<br>"And so will I."  
>"Of course, dear uncle."<br>"Fine, then. I suppose you have taken proper care of the children thus far. Perhaps I can trust you to keep them alive the next few days." The crotchety man grunted. "I will be calling back in exactly three hours. Do not miss it."  
>"I won't. Bye, Artie."<br>"Don't call me tha-"

Jack closed his phone and turned to the kids.  
>"You're not telling him, are you?" Piper said, not even looking up at her brother as she changed the settings on her camera.<br>"Ffft. Hell no." Jack rolled his eyes.  
>"I knew it." She looked up at him with a smirk, then started toward the signature castle, pink skirt swooshing cutely. "I need a good picture of that. It's going in my art portfolio."<p>

* * *

><p>"You want me to do <em>what<em>?" The albino raised an eyebrow at his friend. They were in the lobby of the hotel. Gilbert was (unfortunately) a maid. Rob sighed and repeated himself.  
>"I want you to help me get back at this dude, Gilbert." He said. Gilbert grinned.<br>"I didn't think you had it in you, little ram!" That was the insufferable nickname the German had given him.  
>"Yeah, well this guy pissed me off. I don't care how sexy he is." He glared at his feet.<p>

"I'll totally help out!" Gilbert said a little loudly. "What did you have in mind?"  
>"I guess just some kind of prank. I want to annoy him." Rob looked up at his friend. Gilbert's red eyes sparkled.<br>"Kesesese! I have an idea! Meet me in his room at your three o'clock break." Gilbert ordered. Rob nodded.  
>"Sir, yes sir!"<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Urg. Dull chapter is dull. I really don't like the way this turned out. And I'm sorry this took so long. Please forgive me. ;-; And review, please~!


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